Worse Than Death

As a long time fan of  Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, I've seen a lot of characters come and go. All however were given a justified leaving, whether they moved on from a horrible past, or they retired, regardless they were still the same person the audience fell in love with.

Most recently SVU entered its nineteenth season with promises of many new exciting developments, promises of the first gay couple on the squad, a new ADA, major character development and of course, lots of exciting new cases! So why write about it if it's just an ordinary season? Good question! It's not an ordinary season, in fact for many fans it might be their last season watching SVU.

Six years ago, or, at the beginning of season fourteen, SVU introduced a feisty, Cuban, assistant district attorney. Mr. Rafael Barba (portrayed by Raùl Esparza), I fell in love instantly, the way he danced around the courtroom, his ballsy moves to do the world right and the absolute love for his job was instantly clear, and oh so admirable. At first, Barba made little screen time and yet I still remember how excited I got every time his handsome face would appear and how easily he took my breath away with his incredible lawyer skills. He started off in the show being cold and closed off, strictly there to get the job done, but as soon as the writers announced Barba would be a main character in season 15 and sticking around for a while, fans everywhere started to see a change in his demeanor outside the courtroom. He slowly started to become more sympathetic with the victims, slightly more open with the squad and we got a good look into his past at the end of the fifteenth season, meeting some childhood friends, finding out about his abusive father, and of course his rise from a poor kid in the Bronx to a successful ADA in Manhattan.

As Barba continued on in the show the more popular he became not only with his fans, but with victims, families and judges. Taking leaps of faith to ensure that the squad put rapists and murders away. However most recently Raùl Esparza announced his departure from the show as he was heading back to Broadway, where the Cuban's career took off. Usually this isn't a big deal, actors come and go, people move on to do bigger and better things, and their characters typically have a good write off so it's not ruined for the fans who adore their portrayals. Unfortunately, that was not the case with Rafael Barba. Season 19, Episode 13 "The Undiscovered Country" was the episode that was to ruin his image with his fans and piss a lot of people off.

The episode starts off differently than any other one. A funeral of a respected DA, the camera switches between a coffin and Mr. Barba's face, and the face of the man I would soon realize was replacing Barba. Eventually the scene ends and like any typical episode, trouble ensues and the squad jumps to work. A special little boy, whose father kidnaps him claiming that his mother was trying to kill the little boy. The kid has a degenerative disease that leaves him unable to see, hear, breathe and eat independently and he has no brain activity and he’s in constant pain. The mother has gone to court for the right to end her son’s life, the father is opposed. Barba, whose own father was on prolonged life support at the end of his life, is incredibly conflicted about prosecuting the dad for the kidnapping. After being told to move on with the trial, he's told "We’re not in the compassion business, Rafael," then he's also suggested that the ADA cut the dad a deal. And when Barba goes to the hospital to do so, he finds himself alone with the mom and the baby. “Why can’t he just die? Why?” she cries, lamenting the slow legal process. And Barba is so moved by her pain that he whispers, “He can.” And just like that, she walks over to the ventilator keeping her baby alive. But when she can’t turn it off, Barba tells her to leave… and then, after he makes the sign of the cross over the child, the fans are left assuming that he, quite literally, pulled the plug. Knowing he'll be heading to his "home" (the courtroom), but not for the usual reason, he hires a coworker to defend him. The trial goes as expected, but the entire time I can't help but feel angry, as Peter Stone (who had his own series that was so bad it was cancelled because he's a shit lawyer and doesn't deserve a second chance ESPECIALLY if it means he's replacing Barba my sweet, beautiful, baby boy👶) sat where just an episode ago is where Barba was (rightfully). It's all just so crushing. After Barba is put on the stand, and he CRIES, the jury finds him not guilty of second degree murder believing that what he did was what was best for the child. Relief flooded my senses when the verdict came back, after a long commercial break Barba is shown looking at the courthouse from the street obvious disbelief showing in his eyes. For most fans, we believed that this was the end of the torture of our poor boy, and then Olivia Benson, his best friend comes walking up, and doom over takes our hearts. Barba explains to Liv that even though he escaped jail time, his reputation at the DA's office will be forever ruined and it's time for him to move on. He then goes on to explain to her that her and the squad have changed him forever. A person who was once heartless and lost, his sole focus only to do his job and leave now feels and sees the world very different and cares and loves and realizes that the world doesn't need to revolve around his job. 

The water works start up as beloved Rafael Barba kisses Olivia's forehead and walks away as the screen fades black. Robbed of the ending he deserved fans of the show will forever remember Barba as "walking out" on the family he created for himself. It's far more worse than death and certainly won't sit well with me. 

It'll take a long time to get over the way they ruined Barba's image as the best ADA the squad will ever have. I hope Raùl enjoys his return to Broadway and knows that Barba will always hold a special place in fans' hearts.